Thank you, your work is beautiful. I was just wondering what state of mind you were in when creating this or coming to these realisations and noting them down in diagrams, personally, what stage of a relationship were you at and state of mind? Are you in a relationship now? These questions are personal, but so is your work. Thank you for sharing. -T
Hello T. When I started making these diagrams last May I was wrestling with a waning romantic relationship that had taken a long time and a lot of energy to fully end. Translating my ideas into shapes and words helped me do what I felt was necessary, which was to break down my preconceptions of what ideas like “romantic”, “relationship”, and “end” meant to me. And to our society in general.
At any moment in my life I feel I am in numerous relationships, each at various stages impossible to pin to a place on a set narrative or timeline. The relationships I have with my family, my friends, my colleagues, my self—these are all channels that require my time and thought. The question of how much of these to split among them, and toward what end, is one I’ve examined closely in this project.
The conclusion I’ve drawn at this point in the work is that conventional thought likes to sort relationships into binaries: good/bad, strong/weak, male/female, romantic/non-romantic, available/unavailable, concurrent/finished, etc. The sole reliable indicator of the quality of a relationship—the only one that matters to me, anyway—is whether I and the person I am relating with are able to share happiness in the way we expect to, in the moment and into the foreseeable future.
My immensely gifted friends Chris Parker and Lola Kalman have helped me realize my dream of turning my diagrams about love into a series of six short videos. Chris and I shot and edited footage over the course of a year. Lola sent us recordings from her new home near Tel Aviv, while she was less than a month away from her due date. I couldn’t have done it without their patience and brilliance, and I can’t be more pleased to share our work with you.
You can view these videos at love.seebytouch.com/videos, where I’ll be adding them one a day starting Monday, July 22nd. They are best enjoyed with headphones. If you like them, please pass them on.